One phone call, and hold the muzak, please
29 Oct 2004 
around evening time 
Matt Winckler
I had to call Verizon again a few moments ago because the phone port still has not gone through. Today marks the one-month anniversary of placing my order. I’m not bitter.
Anyway, for a few moments the muzak was some sort of eighties tune that crashed along then finally stuttered to a halt. Then Verizon had the audacity to play John Mayer (or however you spell the infidel’s name) tunes as its “on hold” muzak. Few things grate my nerves as much as listening to John Mayer. In fact, I think that under most circumstances I would even–dare I say it–rather listen to 80s music than John Mayer. It has to do with the raspy, breathy voice, and the fact that he’s a teenaged perv. It’s almost the same reason I don’t like Viggo Mortensen (not the teenage perv part [that I know of]; the raspy voice part). Though I suppose in Viggo’s case it’s more of a whiny nasal rasp than a raspy breath.
Why hasn’t anybody developed hold muzak that is anything but nerve-racking garbage? I think there is something big to be said for the sound…of silence.