Reinforce goodness today
22 Jun 2005 
around lunchtime 
Matt Winckler
In case you’re still here after all the In-Souls® fol-de-rols, Eric has provided me with another sickening instance of modern Evangelicalism gone wild.
As I was thinking of more ways to reinforce goodness, God instructed me to cut out an old inner tube and glue the letters SUSEJ SEVOL UOY backwards onto the bottoms of sandals. When I was finished, it was raining. I walked outside and up onto a dry wooden deck and left JESUS LOVES YOU all over the deck. It was awesome, and I knew this was a wonderful new way to spread the good news.
Kathleen L. Farrell, Ph.D. (of what?), President of Shoes of the Fisherman, Inc.
Sandals–with “JESUS LOVES YOU” written backward on the soles, so that they leave a theologically-dubious message wherever you go. But what if your footprints get wiped away or marred? Never fear, because “While the words disappear, the sands shift and the sidewalks dries, these footprints leave the greatest impression on the soul.”
I am also pleased to find that they have their Evangelical priorities straight:
Threefold Ministry
First Mission Making the Sandals:[sic]
Our first mission is to care for those who make the sandals. The sandals are made in Thailand in a clean, Christian-owned factory that employs adult Christian workers who are paid a living wage.
I’m sure they inspected the factory for cleanliness personally.
Second Mission Wearing Our Christianity:[sic]
[blah blah]… Today we wear our clothing as personal billboards to express how we feel, who we are, and what we believe. Wearing a Christian message reinforces goodness and has the potential to save lives and save souls.
I am very gratified to learn that all we need to do to save people is put the words “JESUS LOVES YOU” in front of their faces. Not to mention the fact that it reinforces goodness! And to think, all this time we’ve been wasting our effort with missions and evangelism. We should start directing all our resources toward renting billboards and TV ads instead.
Third Mission One Step Beyond:[sic]
The sandals’ message can save lives and souls, and the proceeds save the lives and health of needy diabetics.
There you have it. Save lives, save souls, and save the lives and health of needy diabetics. Time on this late great old planet is running out; the age of discipleship is dead and gone–quantity over quality is the order of the day and we need to get our three-word message in front of as many people as possible. So do your eternal soul a favor: buy more Jesus junk today. Hal Lindsey wants you to.
I can’t resist pointing out that the message above does not say “Jesus Loves You,” anyway, but “You Loves Jesus.” Which is presumptuous, nonsensical, and ungrammatical to boot.
Very good catch! I suppose it’s the thought that counts, and when you’re busy churning out new ways to fleece modern evangelicals it’s tough to put much thought into printing things backwards. For myself, I’m impressed that they got it right on the sandals.