preparing for labor
My due date approaches, and labor is imminent. This time I have no delusions: my previous labor was over 30 hours, I pushed for 2 1/2 hours, and it was excruciating and exhausting. I was so tired and sore afterwards that despite my plans for immediately cuddling and bonding with the new baby, I could hardly hold him and after looking at him for a minute, didn’t mind one bit when the nurses took him to wash him. I laid back without even the remotest desire to watch his first bath or first diaper — I just wanted to rest.
Childbirth requires strength — of body, spirit, and mind. Am I ready to face it again? I am ready with all the necessary supplies, but I must also mentally and spiritually prepare. Most childbirth advice from books and classes includes a carte blanche for behavior during labor — yelling, cursing, griping are all allowed while you’re laboring and husbands are told to expect it and not take it personally. However, sin — even attitudinal sin — is never permitted by Scripture; there is no time when a lack of self control is not sin. In fact, in 1 Timothy 2:15 mentions childbirth and self-control within the same breath: “Yet she will be saved through childbearing–if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.”
As always, Nancy Wilson has very encouraging advice:
In all things related to pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum mother, a Christian woman is called to think and act like a Christian. [...] This mentality that makes provision for sin speaks nothing of duty and does not account at all for the promise of grace and strength from Christ. [...] But some things are moral issues, and these include the demeanor of the new mother. Christian women (whether childbearing or not) are required to be patient in affliction, to cast their cares on the Lord, to trust Him in all their ways, to honor and respect their husbands. These are moral issues that matter to God. As the Christian woman approaches childbirth, she should endeavor to prepare herself spiritually as well as physically and mentally. She should pray that God would give her a gentle and quiet spirit as she enters into labor. She should seek to glorify God throughout the process, both in the preparation and the actual delivery. She should reject false ideas about her personality suddenly changing in labor, turning her into a sharp, nasty woman who is biting people’s heads off. This is a lie. [...] Childbirth is something women are equipped by God to do. He has promised to keep His people, and He will certainly not abandon His children at a moment when He is bringing a new covenant-child into the world. The everlasting arms are something a new mother can trust eternally. In this, as in everything, the Christian has a tremendous advantage over the unbeliever: ours are the promises! Christ will never leave us or forsake us. He wants to bless us and provide for us in all conditions. Our business is to rest in Him. [...] Birthing is such a glorious privilege and high calling. We must embrace it with wisdom and hardheaded obedience. We ought to stay away from reading stupid stuff or listening to foolish women. We should determine before God, by the grace of God, to make our husbands proud of us as we do our hard work of bringing children into the world. We don’t want our husbands or our God to be ashamed of us by forgetting who we are or in Whom we trust. The eternal God is our refuge at all times, particularly as we fulfill our calling by bearing children.
Ben Merkle also wrote a very encouraging article I found just prior to giving birth to Hans:
It behooves the expecting family to begin preparing for the trial aspect of child birth. [...] I am referring to the preparing of your soul to go through a difficult ordeal, and through it all, to praise and give glory to God. [...] When a woman is in child labor, somewhere inside, someone turns the volume on her heart all the way up and plugs in four amps. What may have been just a murmur of discontent under ordinary circumstances turns into a deafening shriek in the delivery room. Put another way, the pregnant woman is about to have a number of people come and visit her heart; and this company is going to see how well she has kept her heart in order.
What a terrifying thought! But, of course, God cleanses our hearts and we can keep them clean and repentant before Him:
So how should the expecting family prepare? First, we are told, “Pursue peace with all people, holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Heb. 12:14-15). Bitterness, when given the chance, will spring up and defile many. It is the sort of sin that easily pollutes others. If a woman goes into labor and has any sort of bitterness within her, it is a fairly certain thing that the delivery room will see this bitterness springing up and causing trouble. [...] Although keeping short accounts is always important, as the trial of child labor approaches it becomes critical. A husband does not want to be attempting to encourage his wife through intense labor and have pictures of big muddy footprints across the carpet flash in her mind whenever she looks at him. [...] Second, a woman should begin to prepare her soul for the trial. Because we already have Scripture describing Christ’s death in terms of child labor, it is fair for us to look at how Christ prepared for His ordeal as a pattern. The most obvious thing we see Christ doing to prepare is His spending a great deal of time in prayer. [...] Second, a woman should begin to prepare her soul for the trial. Because we already have Scripture describing Christ’s death in terms of child labor, it is fair for us to look at how Christ prepared for His ordeal as a pattern. The most obvious thing we see Christ doing to prepare is His spending a great deal of time in prayer. [...] One of the most important things to pray for will be strength. A woman should remember that labor is called labor for a reason, there will be a lot of work. [...] But in labor you will be called on to labor. You will do the work. Even when you don’t want to, you will do the work. Pray that God would give you the strength to focus on the task at hand and to work hard.
So, as I do my best to keep the house in order, I must also diligently heed 2 Timothy 2:15: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed.”
