Jealous Jaeger
I realized I need to record this story before it is lost to time and memory:
Jaeger Matthias Winckler, born May 27, 2005
My first view of this world was in my parents’ bedroom in the wee hours of the morning. After being subjected to various tortures and being allowed to eat, I promptly fell asleep. Five hours later I woke up, ate again, and stared at my parents. They were big; they held me tight; I felt safe. Then, suddenly, I saw another person. This one was not as big. Still big, but not as big as Mommy and Daddy. I did not feel safe when he held me. He seemed like me, and yet not like me — I later learned that even though he was still a child he could eat real food, walk, talk, play with toys, and could do all kinds of neat tricks.
I decided I had to get big like him. Quickly.
Two or three days later, I went out for my first outing. My Mommy took me to playgroup. There were more children. They weren’t quite as big as Hans, but they could still do lots of big kid things. I noticed one little girl in particular — or, I should say, she noticed me in particular. She stared and stared at me as I sat in my carrier, and I stared and stared at her. I decided I could certainly get as big as her. She seemed to be a big kid, yet she was much smaller than Hans. Twenty pounds, I heard the Mommies say, and almost exactly one year older than me. Turns out I had been to her first birthday party a week ago in Mommy’s tummy. Well, within two weeks I was halfway there! I was determined to be as big as Nora as quickly as possible, then I’d worry about catching up with Hans. I wanted to do all the things Hans did, but being his size seemed just beyond my grasp.
I worked hard. At times I grew a pound a week. By five months I was 21 pounds. But Nora was 23 pounds by then! It was within my grasp, though she did look bigger still by virtue of being taller and older. Then, despite my efforts still being expended, my Mommy forgot all about my goals! She stopped noting how much I weighed, she stopped asking about Nora, and how was I supposed to know I could have stopped much sooner than I did? Now I’m over a year old and my Mom finally had me stand on the scale. 28 1/2. “How much does Nora weigh now?” Mom finally remembered to ask at the last playgroup. 25 pounds. Ha! I’d succeeded! I’d probably done it months before, too.
But by now that does not satisfy me. It’s true that Nora is a fun friend that I can run around with now, and when I give her hugs I knock her over, but now being like Hans is really within reach. Four pounds and a couple of inches and I’ve got him. I’m working on the talking bit, but I’ve got the food and the walking and running and playing with toys down pat. Being a big kid is so close I can taste it.
