Notes for Turning Three
Hans is embarking upon his fourth week of wearing underwear during the daytime. It’s going decently well, and I will be happy to send anyone who wants further details, which Matt desires not to be made internet-public. :)
However, there are general points I want to remember next time:
*Trying once for a couple days a few months before the main effort is useful. It familiarized him with the process and gave him the basic practical knowledge needed, so that in the main effort, focus could be shifted to consistency and not how-tos.
*Understanding what would be required helped in the anticipation-building stage before his third birthday. Even if he asked, use of the bathroom was forbidden until he was three. Three became the magic age. He is still thrilled that he is three, a month later. Magically, at three, he would be able to do everything with ease. With this reinforced for a few months before his birthday, he thoroughly believed it and was excited for it, and then fulfilled those expectations almost magically on his third birthday. Psychological warfare worked.
*A stable stool with handles is all that is necessary; don’t bother with child-sized utilities that require extra cleaning and, with smaller holes, are easier to make messes on. A boy just needs to scoot his bottom back, keep his pants below his knees, and there will be no mess. He was three, so it wasn’t scary to him anymore.
*Messy pants = “baby diaper” for the rest of the day. He acted like a baby, and not like a three year old, and so he has to wear diapers like a baby now. Try again tomorrow. Mommy is disappointed, Mommy shows him how yucky it is, but Mommy doesn’t have to stress out about and clean up a rash of mistakes.
*A treat is good for accomplishments. For the first few days, everything is an accomplishment. After it is “normal,” set further goals to reward. Wearing the same dry, clean underwear all day is an accomplishment now, and one — at three — that he can understand and remember. Remembering and staying dry and using the bathroom somewhere other than home, and still being dry on the way home is an accomplishment.
*You need at least 8 pairs of underwear, you still need to buy the child’s size of diaper, and keep a pack of pull-ups (“big boy diapers” as opposed to “baby diapers”) on hand for church and other outings.
*Always remember to bring along an extra pair of pants and underwear or diaper whenever you go anywhere! Even if you’re running late, go grab extras! If you don’t, you’ll wish you had.
*Unless I have a child that begs to be trained and just begins doing it as if she’d never done anything else, I will wait until age three.
I was waiting for the reaction on this post’s last line, but it came by private email from my husband:
No, I still consider the male pronoun the neutral, general-use pronoun; however, if such an event as that last ever happens, I anticipate it being done by a girl. From what I’ve heard and read and my experience so far, I do not anticipate a son ever accomplishing such a feat.
:)