Respectability
Tuesday 
in the early morning 
Mystie
I’m curious what other people’s perceptions about family size are. Mine, for apparent reasons, are probably a little skewed from the average. :) Elly and I were talking about it a little bit during our visit, and I’ve pinned down my reactions. Keep in mind that this is merely what I think when I think of my own family; I have learned much these past few years in the variety of friendships I’ve formed and now know that this is one area never to pass judgment on just from hearing how many kids someone has and rarely even when the details are known. I have principles that we can discuss, but when it comes down to putting them into practice, it’s going to look different in different families. That’s just life and the way God made the world and His people. We are all members of one body, but different and we should not seek to be identical.
With that disclaimer, on to what I intend solely as a humorous, light-hearted post. :) When I think of how many kids we might have, here is what I think:
1 - no way
2 - boring
3 - too cliché
4 - just barely respectable
5 - neither a small family, nor a large family
6 - you just went over the fence into the land of the large family
7 - I like odd numbers more, if you’re going to have a large family anyway
8 - at this point, what’s one more?
9 - I prefer odd numbers, but if you’re going to go this far anyway, why not push it into the double digits:
10 - ten is my awe-inspiring number; when I hear others (more like, read blogs where others) say “ten kids” I think “Wow, she’s incredible” with respect and awe, but without envy. :)
11+ - ok, then I do have a “too many” limit. A few families certainly do surpass 10, but beyond 10 is completely off my personal radar. Some people say, “Woah, 5, I could never do that!” I still get that reaction, the number is just rather higher. :) However, unless I know they are raising little neglected heathens, I also wouldn’t say that those who go over ten must necessarily have too many, either.
At this point we have no idea how many children we’ll end up having. Six months ago or so we had a top out number, and, as you can see above, I had a minimum number — so between my minimum and Matt’s maximum, our family size was pretty much determined — but at this point in our lives we’ve given it up and are “taking it one at a time” …..unless God sends multiples, of course. :)
(MCL)
with 
(personal library)
Jeromy and I were talking about this recently. 5 years ago, if you went over two kids, people would make comments like, “Don’t you know what causes that.” Nowadays 3 is the new 2. As long as you stop at 3, you are still respectable. People don’t glare at me because I am noticibly pregnant with 2 other little ones in tow. I think when and if I am pregnant with #4 I will start getting more comments. A good friend just had #5 and her oldest just turned 6. People assume she is Catholic or Mormon because no one would do that on purpose. I (in my own limited wisdom) thought that if I didn’t have at least 9, I couldn’t officially be considered a mom to a large family although I don’t have that opinion of families who have 8 (like you or my pastor’s family.) It is funny the opinions we have about such things! (I think that if I could break double digits and survive, that would be quite an accomplishment!)
Thanks for sharing. On the less light-hearted side, this is a topic we’ve been discussing a lot. I’m curious about your principles. We got a late start, obviously, and since I only had one sister and no brothers I guess “Boring” seems comfortable to me . . . but Scott was one of 6 . . . none of which live near their parents or are all that close with each other. Anyway . . . looking for any insights you’re willing to share. Of course there is always the overriding factor of God’s sovereignty over our lives.
Well, as far as principles go, I really liked this article in the last Credenda:
http://www.credenda.org/issues/18-4husbandry.php
And if God gives you only two, will you be content with boring? Babies aren’t always easy to come by, I know from experience. Be blessed. Have you seen the show on the Discovery Health channel about the family in Arkansas with 15? or is it 16 now? She just had another baby!
I will have to be. Yes, it’s something I have had to deal with recently. God will grant the grace for me to be content with two or ten, of that I am confident.
My wife had someone say that to her at church when she was pregnant with #7. I was really surprised to hear her answer, but I still chuckle.
GaryP
Father of 7 who sometimes admit to being mine.