Harvest Term 2008, second week down and out
Friday 
in mid-afternoon 
Mystie
So far, not so good. Hans is resisting almost every bit that requires any effort of him. I’ve already tried several tactics, but no solution has been reached. I know it’s not too much for him, because what he is balking at is no more than he was able to do a year ago! The same questions and verses he was doing with ease a year and even just a few months ago, he now cannot repeat back to me even phrase by phrase as I give it to him. The weird thing is that the behavior seems strong-willed, but his attitude is more despondent than rebellious and more frustrated than stubborn.
I think that it might be that up until now, circle or school time has been meeting him where he’s at, has been review. He wasn’t working at learning anything new, he was showing off what he could already do. Once I figured out where he was and began trying to teach him beyond what he knows, and beyond what simply comes easily to him, he has broken down and even regressed. Perhaps we have had a communication failure of what school actually is. If he can’t immediately do it (recitation, math, phonogram, whatever), immediately after I’ve shown him what it is I want him to do, he’s despondent — not angry, not frustrated, because he’s not working at it. He tries once, if he can’t do it, he stops trying and emotionally breaks down if I try to push the issue. Boy, if this is my son, I am already nervous about my daughter!
But, once I identified that I was pushing him, that he has surpassed typical milestones for his age and is resisting progress forward, I can ease up and accept that. So far all his memory work and even somehow reading came to him passively. He didn’t work hard to acquire any of it, it all just happened. We will work at what comes to him naturally, and if he’s not ready to work at it, he’s too young to be forced.
I began the new term with the understanding that this was a school year for me to learn good habits and routines, and that Hans’ progress would be counted as a side benefit, but not the main point. With that in mind, I have modified our school-day outline to include only those items that require effort of me, and not much effort on Hans’ part. I’ll keep his memory work as his quiet-time listening material, and I think I’ll add it to our car-time queue as well, but we won’t work on it at school time. For math, we will count to 100; write, say, and build to 20; and play with the blocks. For reading we will do 2 Bob Books a day, but will leave off the phonogram practice for awhile. And I will emphasize to myself the aspects that round out and grow his person, not just his skills: reading aloud, being outside, art & music, and observation. These are things I need to be intentional about because they are not natural to me, so they are on my lists and systematized, but the goal is for them to appear to come naturally and be a part of living, integrated into the everyday flow.
(MCL)
with 
(personal library)
Sounds like a good idea, Mystie. I have been fearful of pushing Bennett too hard and having him decide he doesn’t want to do school at all. With that in mind, I only make him read 2 books during school time and one if it was especially challenging, and three timed Victory drill book trials. He can stop if he doesn’t want to do anymore or he can choose to do more. He is a creature of habit, so he always wants to do the same amount. I let him work on his workbooks for as long as he wants without pushing. I think we can do much harm at this young age to dissuade the love of learning. I take the, “They’ll learn it eventually approach,” to kindergarten. Hans might get more interested again after a week or two of the lighter approach.
Yes, this is a time for emphasizing the enjoyment of school, and it is a time where a dread could instead be easily learned. If I had continued to push my original plan 100%, I think it might have happened.
That said, I also want to guard against giving Hans the idea that he calls the shots or letting him form the habit of stopping when he’s lost interest. That’s a tough habit to break — I still haven’t broken it fully in myself.
My ideal is that I set the parameters at his capacity and end while his interest and attention are still strong, so that he comes back again and again eager each day, and perhaps continues to think about it as he goes off to his other activities. At this age, I don’t want to tax him. However, I will expect him to tax himself later, and I want to do my best to prevent his forming habits that will make that more difficult than it already will be.
Ideals are rarely hit, but that is what I am shooting for….there is give and take in the day-by-day application, hopefully all done in wisdom and with intentionality.