A Healer’s Geste

Names

Matt and I prefer names that one friend aptly termed “Old World style.” We also choose spellings based on our sense of its aesthetic. Happily, so far our aesthetic senses have mostly coincided.

I, myself, having an unusually spelled name, have never regretted it but rather have always been pleased by and proud of it. It doesn’t bother me to have to spell my name to people over the phone, although I do cringe when I see “Misty” written on things like pizza orders or dry cleaner’s receipts. “Misty” — besides being the #1 horse name and #3 dog name in America — is an ugly name. I’m sorry if any Mistys happen upon this post. :) Mystie, however, is totally different. Mystie is classy. Mystie is sophisticated and interesting and different. So, if I see “Misty,” I always get this strange feeling of “is that really what you think of me as?”

I read Anne of Green Gables numerous times in my childhood, and although I enjoyed Anne, I had to be honest with myself and realize I was not at all like Anne. I am Diana. My friends were the Annes. However, on one thing Anne and I were complete kindred spirits. Anne-with-an-e is completely different from Ann. Mystie is a completely different name from Misty. Indeed, when I formed a new best-friendship in middle school with a girl who had a dog — and a stinky one at that — named Misty, it didn’t bother me at all because our names were not the same. However, it was strange to be closeted with Jess in her bedroom, both diligently (hehe) working on our math, to suddenly hear her mom yell out with a note of disgust, “Misty!” as she was wont to do when the dog stank up whatever room she was in. Anyway, when Anne-with-an-e insisted spelling her name to people so that they would spell her name right in their heads when they spoke it, I understood her completely.

Yet, one difference between my name and the names we have given our children, is that at least when people see “Mystie,” they do say it correctly. Strangers will have to be told how to spell all of our children’s complete names, but they also generally do not pronounce them properly when they do see them. We don’t go to the doctor often, so it rarely does come up, but it is always nurses coming into the waiting room with their clipboard that reminds me that our children’s names are more unusual than I realized.

Nurses have mispronounced even Hans or Johannes more often than they’ve gotten it right. It’s always Hans — said as if it were “hands” without the “d” or it’s Johannes said “Joe-Hans,” again, said as if it were “hands” without the “d.” This makes me think it’s just common ignorance rather than the names themselves, because there are many, many important and famous Hanses and Johanneses throughout history.

Hans’ middle name is Kristian-with-a-K. Because K’s are better than C’s.

Nurses must be excused for mispronouncing Jaeger’s name, of course. Even our primary care’s receptionist always calls him “Jagger.” But what I didn’t expect was one day at Urgent Care hearing the nurse call for a “Hwa-gare.” The waiting room was full of hispanics, so I did not pick up on her mistake right away. Only as she continued to stand there and look with uncertainty at her clipboard did I think to ask, “Um, was that J-A-E-…?”

His middle name is Matthias, which is another old name spelled traditionally, but again, because of the common ignorance, it always has to be spelled out for people.

Now I just heard my first doctor’s call for Ilse. Come on, I thought this one was a gimme! IL-SE, IL-SA. Easy peasy. Well, our doctor’s receptionist left a message and said that she was calling to remind me of – hesitate a moment – EYE-SLA’s appointment tomorrow. Sigh.

So, really, what’s the big deal about a middle name like Aoibheann? :)