However, it would be presumptuous and apathetic to simply plan on “things working out” regardless of effort. The picture you paint with your son is not one of sowing to the wind and things working out just fine regardless, but of decisions made in light of his abilities and personalities and purposeful adjustments made accordingly. You have to be paying attention and be purposeful to be flexible in the right way. The claim of “flexible” can also be an excuse for never really doing anything — and there are homeschoolers like that. Yes, someone might get seriously ill, then things have to be adjusted, but can I use a sniffly nose and a grumpy attitude as an excuse not to do school? I think instead I should suck it up and change my attitude and do the right thing.

Most often, the advice of long-time homeschoolers is not to worry. And that is good, because just starting out can be intimidating and worrisome, especially if you’re new to the lifestyle. But the most helpful “advice” I’ve gotten from other homeschoolers is when they give peaks into how their days go, what they plan to do, and how it actually happens. Because you can’t simply “not worry” and “be flexible” alone and still do a good job. A good job takes thought, decisions, and effort to match the situation you are in.

I know even classical education doesn’t have to be very structured, but because actual follow-through is my weakness, that’s the area I need to compensate for myself. I can make plans and visions and buy books all the live-long day. Even yesterday, I wrenched myself off the computer 15 minutes after the boys were ready for school, decided to ad-lib the “school routine” and start with math (because it was time for a new lesson on the dvd, and I didn’t really want to sit down with the books yet). It wasn’t a lost day, but I was fighting myself the whole time and we had more discipline issues than if I had simply done what I had practiced, written down, and *knew* worked best. *That’s* the sort of thing I’m talking about.

Not everyone needs to have structures and plans. Some people are really very good and effective when they ad-lib. I am not one of those people. However, I do hope that if I spend enough time working on self-discipline and being purposeful and sticking to my plans, I will then be able to take the step to being able to change things up with more success.

So, yes, I am looking for this to change me. I hope this is a large enough task with enough at stake to shake me out of my tendency toward order on paper and anarchy in application. Maybe by the end, I’ll actually even enjoy reading aloud. :)

Thank you, Sherry. I hope I don’t come across as arguing with what you said. I am not. I agree with you completely, I just wanted to look at the other side, as well. The way one lady I know put it was “Hold your plans in an open hand.” You can’t not have the plans and just “trust God” while you sit and drink tea and everything falls apart around you, and you also can’t clutch at your plans when God wants to change then or cling to them instead of to Christ.

There is very little flexibility in a structured school for children who deviate from the “norm.” Some children do fine with that, but others would not. My youngest would not receive a classical education if I were not home schooling him. He would not handle a structured classroom well at all. But because I spend my days educating him in a way he can assimilate the information, he can be well-educated & not feel stupid because other children can spell or learn Latin much faster than he can. I see myself as working hard on something much bigger than myself, even when I am totally frustrated. Blessedly, children manage to learn regardless of our shortcomings. If God wants you teaching your children, He’ll just have to provide, won’t He? There have been many times when I thought I was failing my children & it turned out that God had everything under control–to my surprise!

Don’t forget, this journey is for you, too. This parenthood thing isn’t just you & hubby training your children. It’s changing you as well, often in profound ways.

God bless you as He leads you on the path.

We’re starting to think about the future, and it often scares the snot out of me. Why? Because my mom was the uber structured home school mom. I look at myself and worry that I’m not going to be able to do the job she did. I have a great model; but I already see myself falling short. When I was teaching 2-year-old preschool, we did crafts twice a week. Now I have a 2-year-old, and I have craft supplies. Are we crafting? =) It does take a lot to be self disciplined, and the pressure is great on ourselves… Hang in there. I’m hanging with you.

Welcome, Dawn. :)

I really appreciated this post, and not just for the reason that it has caused me to add a book to my list. :) I hope you don’t mind, but I might endorse and reflect on your post on my blog tomorrow. I really think it is a must-read! I felt particularly convicted when you wrote: “Housework can get caught up in a day or two with peppy music and three or four cups of coffee. Children — not so much.” So true!

Anyway, I love that book. There is so much there that is helpful (even for homeschoolers; I think Ch 4 is the only wholly school-related chapter, but it has been a while) My friend and I did a book study on it last year. Christopher Perrin from Classical Academic Press has written a short, practical, and helpful booklet on Classical Ed (their site seems to be down right now or I’d link it). I like that Perrin bridges the gap between SWB’s “Ages and Stages” and Littlejohn & Evans’ “They’re disciplines and anyone who’s telling you otherwise is crazy-wrong.” Dr. Perrin says that it can be both and has some particularly helpful diagrams to explain what he’s saying.

Anyway, all that to say that I whole-heartedly agree that it is the discipline of daily doing school that terrifies me as a homeschooling mom. We’re trying to do 3 days a week right now for K4 and are shamefully not accomplishing it! I don’t know if this is comforting to you to know there’s someone else in the same boat. We will rely on Christ.