A Healer’s Geste

Week One Done

Well, I completed one week of the nine week interval training. I ran Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and hated every minute of it.

It’s supposed to be the fast course to losing weight and improving mood and energy, so that’s what kept me in the game.

I probably undid today’s set while making Hans’ birthday cake — cake, frosting, Oreos, jelly beans. A cook has to taste-test as she goes, right? Now I feel sick and sore.

Usually after one week of getting up at 6 or earlier I’m back to my old morning-loving self, but not this week. Getting sleep might actually make a difference. Knox’s favorite night routine is eat at ten, midnight, two-thirty, three-thirty, and five-thirty or six. Sometimes he skips the midnight call, but he likes to get one one-hour nap in there when he can manage it. He can manage it pretty often, it seems. Then he doesn’t mind going from five or six until ten. And then back to the two-hour pattern. Sometimes I think I should be able to do something about this, but he doesn’t take a pacifier and he’s pretty determined about what he wants when he wakes up — no rocking or bouncing or patting will do. Jaeger was this way until nine months (he would take a pacifier, but not at most of his night wakings) and a friend’s baby boy was this way until eight months, and so I’m pretty much resigned to just waiting it out a few more months. He is 5 1/2 months old and in 9-12 month clothes. I need to weigh him again, but a month ago he was pushing 17 pounds. He looks like he’s gained another pound or two in just the last week. He is a little glutton, always hounding after food, voraciously chowing down on anything he can get into his mouth.

So, anyway, surprisingly — or not — getting up at 6 and exercising has not yet increased my energy.

I try to comfort myself with the reminder that because memory is stored while one is in deep sleep, in a year or so I won’t even hardly remember this phase. I don’t remember hardly any incidents in Jaeger’s first year, and the same will likely be true for Knox’s. I realized I should give up trying to get real reading time in during this point, because I can’t remember what I read the next day anyway, except for a vague feeling that there was a good point made in one paragraph in that one chapter….which book was it again?

But the exercise, that I’m going to be tenacious about. Really. I will. Even though I hate running. Even though I don’t care one jot about running a 5K. Because I want to find out what being fit feels like. Because I am holding out on the long odds that it will give me an energy edge. Because I want to want to get up in the morning. Mostly because I want to wear my regular jeans again.

Wow. Look at all those incomplete sentences. I think I’m done for now.