Refining Our Family Logistics: Self-Examination
Both Mother’s Rule of Life, which Brandy has been blogging through, and Large Family Logistics — more than how-to manuals, based on establishing conviction in the realm of homemaking. MROL does this more narratively, showing how she came to conviction through experience and logic. LFL, on the other hand, arrives at conviction in a thoroughly Protestant manner: strings of proof texts.
Proverbs 31
In the first section of the book, she exposits on each section of — wait for it — the Proverbs 31 Woman.
Sigh.
Now, her writing on the subject really is quite good and I don’t fault it at all, yet one easily tires of falling short of this touted paragon.
So, take a deep breath with me, try to dispel the bad attitude on approaching this text, and I will list some of the pertinent points she draws out about what the Proverbs 31 woman tells us about home management.
- She is prudent, increasing her husband’s prosperity through careful management; her husband trusts her.
- The prudent wife is called blessed, which can also be translated happy.
- She clothes her family willingly and attractively.
- She plans her menus, purchases food (she is no locovore), and has food ready for her household (she’s organized).
- Even as you provide physical food, you should also provide spiritual food for your children — Scripture & prayer.
- Her hands are active and adept as she does what is needful as well as what will beautify.
- She is looking at her own household, not anyone else’s, not a busybody, not comparing.
- She is diligent, steadfast, self-controlled, strong, and confident; she is not idle. She does not squander resources, neither money nor time.
- She is generous to the poor and an advocate for the needy.
- She has increase, she has time and energy left over to have a home-based business.
- She is not afraid or worried; she laughs and she is kind and wise.
Such wisdom and right action comes only from God working in us, not from us seeking to be worthy. Prayer is our ally as we work to increase our sanctification, and sanctification will lead us toward a likeness to the Proverbs 31 woman. This is God’s revealed will for us, so we know it is His plan for us. That means that He will give the grace, strength, and ability for us to grow in this way.
Eight of twenty-one verses in the passage pertain to “housework.” This is an important focus that she maintains. But her efforts go beyond this. Two verses relate to a home business. One is related to physical and/or spiritual strength. One is related to ministry. Two have to do with her attitude and character. Three are directly related to her husband’s confidence in her and the blessing he receives from her faithful labors.
Goals
As I mentioned, here we get the proof-text approach. I don’t think it’s the best way to use Scripture, but she does not seem to use verses out of context and she does have a point.
Where there is no vision, the people perish; but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 29:18
Mrs. Brenneman encourages us to have written, intentional goals that we pursue, and she offers these guidelines in creating them:
- Serving and honoring and obeying God is the point of all the goals; all of them should be ways we pursue our ultimate end: glorifying Him.
- They should be made with our husband, as ways we can complement him and bring about his vision for the family (after all, this is a Vision Forum book).
- Plan goals in different areas: personal, family, spiritual, home, community outreach, educational, physical, recreational, financial. Set long-term goals, short-term goals, and immediate goals.
Where you will be in three months is determined by what you do today. Make your actions today count toward the future. The immediate daily and weekly goals will be the stepping stones to the short-term goals. The short-term goals are the steps taken to reach the long-term goals.
Success breeds success, so build upon the areas in which your family makes positive progress.
In the rest of the section, she walks you step by step through working out a long-term goal, to short-term goal, to small steps to achieve the goals. One thing I appreciated was that she begins with determining the why behind your goals. It is easier to stay motivated when you keep the big picture in mind. The little things can seem insignificant when we don’t remember that these are tiny pieces of the big picture, the end goal.
Planning out your goals and resolutions puts feet under them. Soon, if you put your step-by-step plan into practice, you will be so improved that your New Year’s Resolutions will not be the “same-old, same-old” ones. You will not give up on setting them, and you will be reaching higher.
It Starts with You: Self-Discipline & Attitude
Getting from gaol to execution requires self-discipline. Self-discipline is amking yourself do something that you don’t want to presently do. John MacArthur says it this way, “Biblically, self-discipline may be summarized in one word: obedience.” [...] When we have a goal, we must delay the gratification for the instant fleshly thing in order to achieve long-term reward and blessing.
- Keep your eyes constantly on the goal.
- Seek first God’s kingdom: study the Word & pray consistently & daily.
- Fix your eyes on Christ, put away selfishness.
- Memorize Scripture & replace bad & negative thoughts with good & scriptural thoughts.
- Gaining self-control begins with small steps and small victories. The small things will add up to the large victories.
- Forming good habits makes it easier to deny self-gratifying impulses.
- You will fail, and you will lose momentum and lose good habits, but having worked at it once makes it easier to return to it and get back on track again. Self-discipline is not despairing, but getting back on track again and again.
- We must be the ones leading by example, if we want our children to be disciplined, then we must start with ourselves.
It’s only by God’s grace and mercy that we can do anything right, and we should give glory to Him whenever we excel at any pursuit. [...] While perfection in human terms will not happen in this world, we as Christians should seek to emulate God’s perfect character. We are to work towards that goal, not just give up and say, “I guess I won’t even try” [...] Matthew 5:48 tells us, “You therefore be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot walk around with our head hanging with defeat. We must continue to strive.”
Obedience is a choice. Do not say that you can’t do something that you should do. You must. You can. You will. “We say ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’”
Our goal is not to have outward conformity, or good appearances, but to have the outward be effects of an inward reality. Keep a watch on your heart and your attitude, and repent daily. Otherwise, all efforts will tend toward hypocrisy.
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23
And learn to love the Good, right? That was in there?? :)
I do love the Proverbs 31 passage, mainly because of how well-rounded and reliable this woman seems. I do hope to be like her someday.
I always remind myself, though, that this is a picture of her whole life–not a snapshot of a single day. It can be so overwhelming to think that she did all of that in a day or a week. What she did was build a good life over time.
ps. I know I haven’t commented much, but I’ve been reading all your posts! :)
Brandy, same here. I feel bad for the lack of commenting. :)
Remembering there are different seasons is always a comfort.
Um, no, actually, it wasn’t. :) This is Vision Forum, attempting to regain old-school Presbyterian Protestantism — no feelies allowed. Only buckling down and doing what you should do, and if you do it, it might get easier, but it will be your duty and you will do it whether you like it or not. So there. :) Learning to love the good is still a goal and thought I am even getting my head around, I think.
Actually, totally random connection here: with chickenpox and such, I let the kids watch movies often of late. I found that the library has the Road to Avonlea series (Avonlea, PEI, after Anne is grown and gone) that I watched (and adored) on the Disney channel when I was little. The old ladies portrayed by the show (I read all the L.M. Montgomery I could get my hands on as a girl, but mostly I remember all her stuff except Anne as being dark and gloomy. But the tv series pulled out the Anne-like (or cheered up the other) stories out of her short stories. Those old ladies (Marilla, Rachel Lynde, Hetty King [tv series only]) were thoroughly old-time Presbyterian, appalled by someone being a Methodist. They did their duty because it was their duty, and they come off as quite harsh. But in story after story, still, doing their duty out of a sense of duty actually ends up leading them to affection and connection and true caring whether they’d every admit it or not. It has been an interesting connection to make. I think it’s a true consequence, whether we who are feelings-suspect want to admit it or not. :)